shikarius:

Dad’s gotten 1000% better talking about periods since we started using Shark Week euphemisms:

"Ah, it’s Shark Week?" = "Ah, you started your period?"

"Harpoons on deck?" = "Do you have enough pads/tampons/etc?"

"Chum stocks are holding?" = "Do you need chocolate/midol?"

"Supplies are low cap’n" = "Yes, please."

"What kind (of shark) is it?" = "How do you feel?"

  • "It’s a Nurse Shark" = "I’m fine/not bad"
  • "GREAT WHITE OFF THE STARBOARD BOW" = "FUCKING OW"

timelady-of-221b:

I FUCKING HATE SOCIAL ANXIETY BECAUSE YOU’RE SCARED TO TALK TO PEOPLE BUT ALSO DYING TO TALK TO PEOPLE AND HANG OUT AND RELAX AND HAVE FUN AND NOT BE ALONE AND LONELY AND FEEL LIKE SHIT BUT YOU DO FEEL LIKE SHIT BECAUSE YOU CAN’T EVEN RELAX ENOUGH TO TALK TO PEOPLE WITHOUT OVERTHINKING EVERYTHING

spookytotodile:

when u catch someone lookin at you for like the 15th time and u just like damn u tryna holla or what

(Source: 420dongsquad)